Showbiz nuggets

I have a few moments spare as I'm still in the office waiting for my showbiz column to be subbed.

So there's some interesting snippets going on in the showbiz world to wet your juices.

Firstly Paris Hilton is gunning for an invite to the Royal Wedding at the end of April.

This is the empted-headed star who declared: “Princess Diana is my idol” before trying to pull Prince William.

I don’t blame Paris for trying but really, why on earth would Big Will and Kate Middle-of-the-range invite her to their special day?

Unless they wanted to film it for a reality TV show, of course.

Or get some tips on their Wedding night DVD… arf, arf. 

Two years ago Paris meet Big W for the first time and promptly said: “I'd be more than happy to date you as long as you ditched the mousy girlfriend.”

Brash.

However, in true brainless style she whinnied: “I couldn’t believe how awesome and hot he was”.

That carry on deserves an invite if you ask me. 

Meanwhile newly engaged Sarah Harding and Tom Crane prove once again why maybe they’re not singing from the same hymn sheet.

Party animal Sarah is planning a wild hen night in Las Vegas while Tom is having a traditional country gentleman stag weekend.

My friend in the know revealed: “Maybe they work well together because they’re so different. Sarah wants a raucous girlie weekend in Sin City, while Tom wants a country gentleman weekend of fishing, shooting, hunting etc.”

Meanwhile, here are their dreams of the perfect wedding...

Tom says: “I want an old-fashioned English wedding, something subtle, the full top and tails malarky” while Sarah says: “ I’d love to have it in a Gothic castle and show my dark side, I want everything to be dark."
That could be awkward?

In other news

Janice Dickinson jumped into bed with Victoria Beckham.

Well, she accosted her on a flight to LA, where poor Posh has little choice but to pout and bear it.

Wacky motor mouth Janice said: “Posh is beautiful. I saw her on a first-class flight I went over with a glass of wine, a seductive, and got into bed with her.”

As you do.

She took time out of stalking Posh Spice to slag off Jordan.

Saying: “People don’t know her in America. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag, her lips and tits would get in the way. She looks like a beached tuna.”

And to round of a batty day on the showbiz hot desk Gary Lineker’s wife Danielle missed the beginning of a Calendar Girls performance last week, as she was stuck in the toilet with the runs.

I kid you not.

She revealed: “I went AWOL at curtain call, the crew were running around in chaos trying to find me. I was trapped in the ladies. I had a curry the night before and was stuck in a cubicle with Vindaloo’s revenge.”

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Arriving in LA for The Oscars

OK, so the plan was to blog every day in LA and keep you informed on the showbiz shenanigans across the pond in Tinsletown.

Er, well...
Jet lagged kidnapped me for the first few days, then the party scene kicked off, work got a bit crazy and in short,  I had no time to write.

So, as the saying goes...'better late than never'. Here's a recap of how the week in La La land panned out.

Day One
Jet lag woke me up at 7am...(as the week went on this proved to be a daily re-occurrence...much to my annoyance).
Went to my first ever red carpet event in Hollywood...The Global Green awards at Avalon nightclub (a favourite of Paris Hilton).
I was expecting big things. After all this is Hollywood and surely their red-carpet has to be the best in the land.
I was promised to interview the likes of Orlando Bloom, Jim Carey, Hayden Panettiere.
None of the aforementioned turned up. It was like a who's who's of the American Z list...and being a Brit I had no freaking idea who anyone was.
I did meet a curious, peace loving tree-hugger who I had a lengthy conversation with based around the vacuous showbiz world....bizarrely, that was the highlight of my night.
Also taxi was $52 on way from hotel to event and $12 on the way back....hmm think the first cabbie smelt a tourist.