Swanky new eyebrows

Thought I would quickly post a picture of my posh new HD eyebrows.
I would like to point out I am not very good at all this girlie-girl business.
I've never successfully applied a pair of false eyelashes myself, I have never worn false nails and I much prefer my freckles to having flawless foundation.

However, I thought I'd give the HD brows a go... and I can't deny I absolutely love them.
Seriously, I am a total convert and would recommend to anyone wanting to feel a bit more preened.
I definitely need all the help I can get to look glamourous.
And before you panic, like I did, you won't look anything like Jordan!
For all the info check out http://www.hd-brows.co.uk/ or follow www.twitter.com/EyebrowQueen

new brows... not too shabby

The FHM 100 Sexiest Woman awards

It's been a busy month, event wise in the showbiz world.
Russell Brand walked the red carpet in London for his new film Arthur, alongside Dame Helen Mirren.
Russ even brought his super famous wifey Katy Perry along to try and drum up further attention.
I haven't seen the film yet, but early reviews have been pretty dire.
Which is annoying, as I'm a big fan of Randy Russ.

Then Robert Pattinson came to town for the premiere of his new flick Water For Elephants, which I'm told is fantastic.
It's been compared to The Notebook, that itself excites me greatly.
And everyone said you fall in love with the elephants instantly.
I can't wait.

However, the big party of the week was the FHM 100 Sexiest Woman awards, won by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, if you don't know her she's mostly famous for dating plastic gangster Jason Statham.

The bash was raucous, everyone was hammered.
Alex Reid (ex husband of Jordan) was so pissed he kept asking girls to go into the photo booth with him, he basically wanted a shag.
He eventually ended up leaving the party, completely wasted, with Vanessa Perroncel (the ex-girlfriend of Wayne Bridge, who (allegedly) shagged John Terry and caused a royal drama between the Chelsea footie squad). A nice pairing, I think you'd agree?

Boxer and Welsh stud Joe Calzaghe was also there, alongside a host of reality TV stars including Kerry Katona and The Only Way Is Essex peeps.

Alex Reid before he got seriously shitefaced and ever-the-gent Joe C

Reality TV sandwich Amy Childs and our Kezza

Seemed only fitting to get a photo with Joey Essex... the No 1 TOWIE wannabe

Showbiz nuggets

I have a few moments spare as I'm still in the office waiting for my showbiz column to be subbed.

So there's some interesting snippets going on in the showbiz world to wet your juices.

Firstly Paris Hilton is gunning for an invite to the Royal Wedding at the end of April.

This is the empted-headed star who declared: “Princess Diana is my idol” before trying to pull Prince William.

I don’t blame Paris for trying but really, why on earth would Big Will and Kate Middle-of-the-range invite her to their special day?

Unless they wanted to film it for a reality TV show, of course.

Or get some tips on their Wedding night DVD… arf, arf. 

Two years ago Paris meet Big W for the first time and promptly said: “I'd be more than happy to date you as long as you ditched the mousy girlfriend.”

Brash.

However, in true brainless style she whinnied: “I couldn’t believe how awesome and hot he was”.

That carry on deserves an invite if you ask me. 

Meanwhile newly engaged Sarah Harding and Tom Crane prove once again why maybe they’re not singing from the same hymn sheet.

Party animal Sarah is planning a wild hen night in Las Vegas while Tom is having a traditional country gentleman stag weekend.

My friend in the know revealed: “Maybe they work well together because they’re so different. Sarah wants a raucous girlie weekend in Sin City, while Tom wants a country gentleman weekend of fishing, shooting, hunting etc.”

Meanwhile, here are their dreams of the perfect wedding...

Tom says: “I want an old-fashioned English wedding, something subtle, the full top and tails malarky” while Sarah says: “ I’d love to have it in a Gothic castle and show my dark side, I want everything to be dark."
That could be awkward?

In other news

Janice Dickinson jumped into bed with Victoria Beckham.

Well, she accosted her on a flight to LA, where poor Posh has little choice but to pout and bear it.

Wacky motor mouth Janice said: “Posh is beautiful. I saw her on a first-class flight I went over with a glass of wine, a seductive, and got into bed with her.”

As you do.

She took time out of stalking Posh Spice to slag off Jordan.

Saying: “People don’t know her in America. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag, her lips and tits would get in the way. She looks like a beached tuna.”

And to round of a batty day on the showbiz hot desk Gary Lineker’s wife Danielle missed the beginning of a Calendar Girls performance last week, as she was stuck in the toilet with the runs.

I kid you not.

She revealed: “I went AWOL at curtain call, the crew were running around in chaos trying to find me. I was trapped in the ladies. I had a curry the night before and was stuck in a cubicle with Vindaloo’s revenge.”

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Busy Old Week

The general conception that January's the quietest month of the calendar is nothing more than a myth.
My diary's already jam-packed with meetings, work lunches, celebrity events (ie. more work) and friend's birthdays.

I've so far managed a eye watering, inconceivable, fifteen days without booze and junk food ( the longest since my drinking hobbie began). I've joined the company gym. And I even went on a Saturday. A Saturday. The day of perceived weekend fun.

I managed to meet a group of mates for dinner and then to the pub on Thursday night, without touching a drop of the devil's finest. I'll go as far as saying, I enjoyed myself. Despite watching my mates chugging back Pinot by the boat load.

This week my editor declared she's sending me to Los Angeles for the Oscars at the end of Feb, which, fingers crossed, should be a good crack. Hard work, but hopefully pretty radical at the same time.

In work news... Jordan's yet to publicly announce her divorce to long suffering fella Alex Reid.
Despite definitely filling for divorce, Katie Price has decided to let the air clear before she serves Alex the papers and boot him out of their marital home.
A cynical hack would assume she's doing everything possible to get even more coverage in the red tops. However, her 'pals' claim Reidy is devastated and needs a few days to sort out his head before the news goes global. The poor sod.

In other news....

Epic boozer Kate Moss thinks her nonstop paryting has ruined her body and face. Mossy's vowed to put her Croydon Caner ego to bed in 2011 and hopes to stop smoking and boozing like Oliver Reid in drag.

Blood sucker Robert Pattinson and real life sex friend Kristen Stewart will never work together again. While Twilight fans sob off their black eyeliner cranky Kristen promised "We’ll be pursuing solo projects from now on.”

And nutcase Gillan McKeith's convinced she'll become a Hollywood actress and star in a comedy blockbuster with Ricky Gervais. She also threatened to sign up for Dancing On Ice next year.
No Gillan, no.

Tough as old boots

Well it's fair to say Jordan has outdone the papers/ TV news shows and a host of big-mouth showbiz experts this week.

Living up to her claim that people should "never underestimate the Pricey" - Katie Price has definitely bamboozled the showbiz world regarding the imminent announcement that she's set to divorce lovable beefcake Alex Reid.

All week people have been waiting with baited breathe (OK slight exaggeration) to see what the mammoth boobed star's next move will be in the ongoing saga of Jordan's doomed love life.

However, in true Katie (I loved to wind up the media) style she's left us all hanging on a limb.

And for once, I say, fair play Price.

However, poor Reid. The unfortunate blighter always resembled an unsteady puppy on a slippery canal bank around Miss P.

Hopefully he'll find a way to not sink.

Jordan and Alex Reid.... the end of something monstrous.

So the showbiz world is in a frenzy as Katie Price and Alex Reid are set to officially announce their separation this afternoon.
It's just flashed up as Breaking News on Sky News... gotta be true then, hey? (cough, cough)
All I know so far is it was Jordan's decision to end the marriage, Alex is said to be "distraught" and the statement will be brief (maybe in honour of their short-lived nuptials? 11 months if anyone cares.)

Anyway us, the Daily Star, the royal 'we', have been reporting for months that Jordan and Alex were going to split... so right now we’re feeling a little smug.
Albeit, a wee bit sad for Alex, as he generally seemed like an all round nice guy, pre-Jordan.
We said Alex should’ve sacked Jordan off (in a nice way, obviously, “it’s not you, it’s me” blah blah) when he won Celebrity Big Brother, bet he wishes he had now. Poor blighter.

Piers Morgan has already jumped on the bandwagon tweeting that he thinks Jordan could get together with Sir Alan Sugar after the big bazooka'd babe told him Alan was "very sexy, for an old geezer."
Other people think Alex will how take part in and win Celebrity Tool Academy, which is bound to be commissioned at some point.
By the way, if you haven't checked out Tool Academy on E4, you should.
Pure, comedy viewing. Oodles of men who clearly need to spend more time away from the mirror and out of their own arses.
Anyway.
It's unfortunate that Jordan’s marriage has failed, at the very same time Peter Andre finally, after a year of banging on about being lonely and wanting a bed buddy, finds love with sexy senorita/ part time WAG Elen Rivas.
Life's a bitch.

Another theory is... this was a cunning plot by the glamour gofer to ruin arch enemy/ nemesis/ more successful rival Posh Spice's limelight.
The Pricey (self named, still makes us a little queasy) loves trying to overshadow and out-do Victoria.
And it's safe to say Vicky B's baby announcement is now firmly old news.
She's a clever old boot that Price character.

Anyway, on a serious note, I think these type of doomed celebrity marriages are really sad.
Why do people get married after knowing each other 28 minutes? It's bound to end in heartbreak.
Oh, actually, Jordan doesn't seem to have much of a heart these days, does she?
Knowing her, she flogged it for a fiver.