Russell Brand's dad thinks he's the new Jesus, no joke.

I've heard it all now.

I know most parents like to talk up their kids, each thinking their son or daughter is extra special.
Everyone has a busy-body, Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet) type, who lives down the road.
You know, the type who blabs on: "My son's a doctor, don't you know. He got a 1st in his Masters and now saves the world, single handedly. I'm so proud, I could cry."

However Russell Brand's dad could win an award for child trumpet-blowing.

Russell's dad Ron Brand thinks his superstar son is the new Jesus. I kid you not.

He reckons his son and Jesus are “both true individuals, misunderstood by the world”.

how Ron sees his son Russell

Talking about his epiphany Ron said: “Russell is truly individual. He does not comply to rules of society. I am proud of him.

“Kids have always had to comply. There are few that can sustain it and say: ‘No. I am going to be who I am.’

“It’s difficult to be different and it goes back 2,000 years. It goes back to the times of Jesus, he was an individual. It takes immense strength to be able to sustain your belief.  I never ask Russell to build a safety net. You have one life. I always tell him to go for it. I tell him: ‘You either go to the top of the mountain or you die at the side.’"

Good point Ron.

Anyway, must pop off I'm having dinner with my parents, Mother Teresa and Gandhi.

Pre-Wimbledon party

My mum is forever telling me "You don't need alcohol to have a good time".
Yeah OK, so as I've got older I've come to realise in some situations this could possibly be true.
But it definitely makes things a lot more fun. Until the morning after.

However, on a flip side it seems you do need sunshine to have a good time. When it's raining no-one wants to do anything or go anywhere. It puts a complete dampener on life. Quite literally.

This time last year it was really hot 'n sunny and everyone was loving life. Including me.
I was invited to attend Ascot in box and ended up hanging out with Declan Donnelly on Ladies Day, drinking champagne, losing money on horses (I didn't win one race) and generally getting inebriated in the blazing sunshine.
Oh and I met The Queen. Well, I stood about 20 inches away from her. Same difference?
After spending two afternoons lording it around Ascot, big hat, posh dress, jugs of Pimms and quaffing champagne... I went to a pre-Wimbledon party at the Roof Gardens in Kensington and met, for the first time, Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.


Arriving at Ascot for the first day for lunch in Ladbrokes' private box



Sonja, Declan, and me on second afternoon... Ladies Day



With Russel and Jonathan at pre-Wimbledon party


Fast forward a year and exactly the same thing was suppose to happen. Minus meeting Russell Brand (he's, like, totally living in LA now, and, like, married to a popstar, and, like, sooooo American and stuff).

But it was chucking it down. It's rained in London continually for five days.

Which means I didn't go to Ascot, not just because it was pissing it down, but because, well, my colleague Sonja and I just decided we didn't want to.

See, no sunshine. No fun.

We did both however go to the pre-Wimbledon party. We were really excited about going. It was a right laugh last year. He got to hang out with Gavin Henson as well and although, he wears more fake tan than we'd ever and is preened into a inch of death, he's still a really nice guy.

Elen and moi

This year is was belting it down, and we only stayed for an hour after having a quick chat to Elen Rivas. We briefly saw Sir Alan Sugar, but he was complaining about the crappy weather and some of the celebs expected including Sarah Harding, Mathew Horne, Gethin Jones and Emily Blunt also cried off because of the endless rain.

Elen was getting hassled by everyone to talk about her ex fiance Frank Lampard. Seeing as he's just proposed to new girlfriend Christine Bleakley.

People were asking her if she'd allow her daughters (with Frank) to be bridesmaids etc.

Felt really sorry for her, she basically told most people to piss off.

However, her pal Lizzie Clundy told us they both "need more sex and more fun".

Couldn't agree more.



The FHM 100 Sexiest Woman awards

It's been a busy month, event wise in the showbiz world.
Russell Brand walked the red carpet in London for his new film Arthur, alongside Dame Helen Mirren.
Russ even brought his super famous wifey Katy Perry along to try and drum up further attention.
I haven't seen the film yet, but early reviews have been pretty dire.
Which is annoying, as I'm a big fan of Randy Russ.

Then Robert Pattinson came to town for the premiere of his new flick Water For Elephants, which I'm told is fantastic.
It's been compared to The Notebook, that itself excites me greatly.
And everyone said you fall in love with the elephants instantly.
I can't wait.

However, the big party of the week was the FHM 100 Sexiest Woman awards, won by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, if you don't know her she's mostly famous for dating plastic gangster Jason Statham.

The bash was raucous, everyone was hammered.
Alex Reid (ex husband of Jordan) was so pissed he kept asking girls to go into the photo booth with him, he basically wanted a shag.
He eventually ended up leaving the party, completely wasted, with Vanessa Perroncel (the ex-girlfriend of Wayne Bridge, who (allegedly) shagged John Terry and caused a royal drama between the Chelsea footie squad). A nice pairing, I think you'd agree?

Boxer and Welsh stud Joe Calzaghe was also there, alongside a host of reality TV stars including Kerry Katona and The Only Way Is Essex peeps.

Alex Reid before he got seriously shitefaced and ever-the-gent Joe C

Reality TV sandwich Amy Childs and our Kezza

Seemed only fitting to get a photo with Joey Essex... the No 1 TOWIE wannabe

Oscars day...Day Seven

The day of the Oscars….dun dun dun.

I was staying on Sunset Boulevard which means I was literally in the hub of everything happening.

There were film crews, transmission trucks, glamourous TV news reporters everywhere.

There was also a man dressed as Jesus wandering around blessing everyone with “love and gratitude”. Only in LA.

Here's a quick run down on what happened on Oscar night…

Anna Hathaway was a brilliant host, which was quite surprising for all. She revealed her secret weapon was to “change my dress as often as possible, so people pay more attention to what I’m wearing than my nerves.”

Leonardo DiCapro plans to move in on Russell Brand’s older woman Helen Mirren revealing: “Id love to work with Helen, she’s an amazing actress and seems fun. I’m gonna try and get it sorted tonight.”

Florence Welch gushed: “I'm so excited, I never dreamt I’d be in Hollywood at the Oscars doing a duet with Sir Elton John.”

After scooping best actress Natalie Portman admitted she will not be calling her unborn baby Oscar saying: “That’s really funny, no one’s asked me that yet, but no, there’s absolutely no change I will choose Oscar. We can stop that rumour, right now.”

Russell Brand has officially turned his back on his rock n roll routes. He proudly brought his Mum to the Oscars instead of wife Katy Perry.

Scarlett Johansson admitted: “The ceremony’s so long people sneak food into the theatre, I know it’s not very glamorous but it’s true”

And Gwyneth Paltrow shocked everyone by announcing she wants to turn her talents to hip-hop. “I would love to do a duet or collaboration with Jay Z," she said, "he’s a genius and I’m a massive fan.”

The after party everyone wanted to go to was at the Vanity Fair party…which looked like this from outside our hotel.

Still no signs of Cheryl Cole….