Horse riding in a tropical storm

We got out of bed, on our penultimate day, at 9.30am. Which was our first lie in all week, probably
something to do with the late night balcony antics. After breakfast in the sunshine (scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and bucks fizz), we whiled away a few hours on the beach before our horse trekking tour.

At midday we got on the coach to head for the ranch, which was up in the hills a few miles east of Montego Bay.
Our tour guide, Herbert, insisted we only used Jamaican terms during the horse riding. So made us practise saying "yeah man" "irie" and "no problem". He told us there's no such things as 'problems' in Jamaica, just 'situations'.
As we put on our horse riding helmets the heavens open and torrential rain started. The sky was black and rain\ hail was crashing down, making fast flowing streams all around within minutes.
We took off our helmets and waited for 20mins sheltering anywhere we could from the rain. However, the rain continued, with water bouncing off the pavement and bucketing down around us. Eventually we gave up and mounted our horses, soaking wet, mid rain storm.



The tropical downpour continued for the whole hour and a half ride. Our horses (Scrappy, who had a broken ear, and Danny Boy) loved the rain. And the locals (who we kept bumping into along the way) kept telling us it  was "liquid sunshine", insisting it was a "blessing from above."
We rode up hills, through the forests looking at all the different varieties of fruits and plants. Meeting a few locals who live in the forest on the way. We passed over streams and small rivers. Through mangroves, where lobsters and crabs hide out. It was pretty amazing and worth every penny.
We finished the ride by removing the saddles and riding our horses out into the sea. Them swimming (more like racing) and us hanging on by everything and anything possible.
Definitely an experience we won't forget for a while.

Even though we spent the whole day soaking wet, with rain continuing to beat down on us, it's impossible to be disheartened in Jamaica.
The locals are so happy, constantly singing and smiling like lottery winners. Their excitement for life is infectious.

We arrived back to the hotel and once again our butlers had run us a romantic bath, this time with yellow rose petals.

It's safe to say there's no way me or Jimmy want to go back to London tomorrow.

Do go chasing waterfalls

We hired a car and drove from Montego Bay to Ocho Rios today to go and climb Dunns River waterfalls.
It took about 1hour 45mins to get there and was a hilarious journey of non-stop horns, cars swerving all over the road, undertaking, overtaking and locals trying to sell us stuff.
Within minutes of arriving at Dunns River one of the locals jumped on us trying to persuaded us to buy two small, hand-carved, wooden people.
Before we could say 'no thanks' he (Anthony) had carved Jessika "be happy, don't worry" on one. And Jimmy "No problem mon" on the other.
He told us to "love each other, stand by each other but more importantly don't forget the jiggy jiggy." Before carving four lines on each for love, peace, respect and prosperity.
We handed over 3000 Jamaican dollars (£24) and went on our merry way with a wooden man and woman, and a traditional Jamaican necklace.

The two hand-carved figures, now engraved with our names

The waterfalls were amazing. Spectacular and scary. The water was flowing rapidly and the rocks were really slippy. We climbed to the top, swam in the whirl pools and went back to the bottom to do it all over again.


Jimmy getting excited half way up the water fall

We drove through the town of Ocho Rios on the way home, past all the small, shack-like bars\ restaurants, roadside sellers selling coconuts, bananas, other local fruit and huge stems of aloe vera.


A beauty salon we past driving on the way back to the hotel

Our butler, H-bomb, organised a romantic picnic for us which he'd packed into the boot of the car - salmon and tuna sandwiches, cakes and champagne. It was a great end to the day. The evening ended on a slushy note. We arrived back to our room after dinner, a bit drunk on rum 'n coke and Dirty Banana cocktails, to find the bed covered in petals and orchids placed in a heart shape.
The butlers were definitely giving my boyfriend a run for his money.


I'd love to come home to this every day :-)



Island life

We headed over to the private off-shore island today.

It's rustic, everything is made from the natural island materials. Beautiful lanterns were hanging everywhere, bamboo and palm leaf umbrellas and wooden, four-poster love-shacks with white curtains and a double bed.
There was also a nudist beach, a swimming pool and a jacuzzi.
Oh, and a parrot named Diana, after Princess Di (obviously, eh?)
A fat, naked American man gave us some bread (as well as an eyeful, a very burnt eyeful) so we spent an hour snorkeling with barracuda and sting rays before heading back to the main island.


The handmade shack where lunch is served 



Parasole and lanterns made out of local materials



Four poster cabanas on the private island



Swim up pool bar...

 

Statue that welcomes you to island life

Early morning Sunrise.

The jet-lagged kicked in a 5am today.
After lying in bed for half an hour, trying to get back to sleep, we decided to knock it on the head and get up to see the sunrise. Which was utterly beautiful.
And we spotted a local fisherman (see bottom picture) dancing in the morning sun. Perfect start to the day.

Everyone's smiling

After only a few hours in Jamaica it's obvious why all the locals are constantly laughing, playing pranks on each other and smiling from ear to ear.
It's beautiful, blazing sunshine at 9am and a infectious chilled out, laid back vibe.



Our private beach

On our first dip in the sea we meet Skinny Man. A local who rides around the waves on a surfboard, with paddles, selling stuff to tourists. By 'stuff' I don't mean the usual tourist souvenirs sunglasses, hats, CDs - more like weed, hash, cocaine etc.
He sells carved wooden souvenirs too, in a bid to fool the middle aged, conservative Americans.
We've already spotted a number of guests reading the bible on the beach or other religious books such as "God will teach you to forgive."
Despite the naughtiness of Skinny's 'souvenirs' he's cool, and full of banter. He supports Man U and spends 8 hours every day in the sea. He has no front teeth. He also tells blatant lies, we worked this out quickly. But he's good comedy value.



Skinny Man doing his thing

We spent the whole day sunbathing, swimming and snorkeling. Our second butler Ellis (forgot to mention we have two butlers now, I know, I know! Ellis and H-bomb do 1\2 day shifts each) dropped off a cool box of beers to us on our sun loungers, around noon. He later brought cocktails and snacks too. It's safe to say I love this place. 

Us relaxing on a swing with Dirty Banana cocktails and Red Stripe

It still feels really weird having someone do everything for us. However, Ellis and H-Bomb are both really (genuinely) happy and keep telling us how much they love their job - so we try and stop being so typically English and polite.


Our second butler Ellis, the super smiley dude...

There's an American couple next to us on the beach who are ordering the world off their butler. I'm surprised they're not using him as a footstool.
There's and abundance of Americans at the resort. They're loud, brash, self involved and pretty intolerable. Their whiny, elongated twang is as annoying as the peacock who's woken us up both mornings so far at 5.30am with his mating call and general racket.


one of the many peacocks at the resort

Goodbye London, hello Jamaica

Excitement woke me up two hours before my alarm this morning.
Setting my alarm at 8.20am on a Saturday was already worryingly early. (I'm a lie in bed until noon kinda girl).
However 5.30am me and my boyfriend Jimmy were wide awake charged with excitement about our Caribbean adventure.
We got to Gatwick an hour before the flight, slightly panicking. But still like excitable kids on a school trip.
We completely underestimated how long it would take to get to airport, then took too long buying books\ snacks. The usual capers. Most of our friends know how useless we are at being on time and organised. A couple of glasses of red wine into the flight it started getting really rowdy on the back three rows.
A group of Irish friends, about 12, were getting stuck into the free booze. Shouting, swearing, cackling, jumping over chairs, pushing each other.
All the surrounding seats were now empty as everyone had asked to be moved. One elderly lady looked like she was going to cry. Thirty minutes later the pilot announced someone had been smoking in the toilet and put the whole flight in danger. People were panicking and getting angry.
Police will now be waiting when we arrive in Montego Bay.
Moment later alcohol is banned as everyone's to rowdy. There's still five hours to go.

We arrived at airport, get escorted into a VIP Sandals lounge, our bags are taken away and replaced with two ice cold Red Stripes and we're told our chauffeur will be ten minutes. Our chauffeur arrived, tells us to get two more beers and get in the back. Two minutes into the drive he says, "so you guys wanna smoke back there? You wanna buy some weed? Everyone in Jamaica has a smoke, put a smile on your face. You're here to have fun." It's obvious, instantly, we're gonna love this holiday.

Allow me to be smug, just for a while

This time next week I'll be boarding a plane to Jamaica, in possession of a good book, my ever faithful eye mask, some sweets and my Ipod.
Oh and my partner in crime /fellow free-spirited one (boyfriend Jimmy).


This is where we'll be hanging out

I've spent the last few hours getting giddy with excitment about what lies ahead.
We're staying in Montego Bay and already can't wait to get on the beach, sample traditional rum, down some Red Stripe, dance to Reggae, eat curried goat/ jerk chicken, have a laugh with the local Rastafarians etc.
Heaven on earth... or as the locals say 'no problem mon'.




Our nearest beach bar



Rum cocktails

Enough said.

Nobody likes a show off...

I just felt a moment of glee when I realised in exactly six weeks time, to the day, I'll be lording around the Caribbean in a two-piece supping a cool Margarita.
Sorry to be a smug fool, but I'm really excited.
Take at look at where I'm galavanting off to....



Sandals Royal Caribbean, Montego Bay, Jamaica