Showbiz nuggets

I have a few moments spare as I'm still in the office waiting for my showbiz column to be subbed.

So there's some interesting snippets going on in the showbiz world to wet your juices.

Firstly Paris Hilton is gunning for an invite to the Royal Wedding at the end of April.

This is the empted-headed star who declared: “Princess Diana is my idol” before trying to pull Prince William.

I don’t blame Paris for trying but really, why on earth would Big Will and Kate Middle-of-the-range invite her to their special day?

Unless they wanted to film it for a reality TV show, of course.

Or get some tips on their Wedding night DVD… arf, arf. 

Two years ago Paris meet Big W for the first time and promptly said: “I'd be more than happy to date you as long as you ditched the mousy girlfriend.”

Brash.

However, in true brainless style she whinnied: “I couldn’t believe how awesome and hot he was”.

That carry on deserves an invite if you ask me. 

Meanwhile newly engaged Sarah Harding and Tom Crane prove once again why maybe they’re not singing from the same hymn sheet.

Party animal Sarah is planning a wild hen night in Las Vegas while Tom is having a traditional country gentleman stag weekend.

My friend in the know revealed: “Maybe they work well together because they’re so different. Sarah wants a raucous girlie weekend in Sin City, while Tom wants a country gentleman weekend of fishing, shooting, hunting etc.”

Meanwhile, here are their dreams of the perfect wedding...

Tom says: “I want an old-fashioned English wedding, something subtle, the full top and tails malarky” while Sarah says: “ I’d love to have it in a Gothic castle and show my dark side, I want everything to be dark."
That could be awkward?

In other news

Janice Dickinson jumped into bed with Victoria Beckham.

Well, she accosted her on a flight to LA, where poor Posh has little choice but to pout and bear it.

Wacky motor mouth Janice said: “Posh is beautiful. I saw her on a first-class flight I went over with a glass of wine, a seductive, and got into bed with her.”

As you do.

She took time out of stalking Posh Spice to slag off Jordan.

Saying: “People don’t know her in America. She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag, her lips and tits would get in the way. She looks like a beached tuna.”

And to round of a batty day on the showbiz hot desk Gary Lineker’s wife Danielle missed the beginning of a Calendar Girls performance last week, as she was stuck in the toilet with the runs.

I kid you not.

She revealed: “I went AWOL at curtain call, the crew were running around in chaos trying to find me. I was trapped in the ladies. I had a curry the night before and was stuck in a cubicle with Vindaloo’s revenge.”

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.