The world and it's wife has started 2011 with a New Year detox (and don't they love banging on about it).
A life without alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate, sausages rolls, oven roasted camembert, fizzy laces - all the things that make me happy to see another day.
So, I made a pragmatic decision (a.k.a moment of dick-headedness) to follow suit... if I'm going to suffer their constant inane Weight Watchers bollocks, I might as well get skinnier listening to it.
This now means I'll spend my days sombrely tapping away showbiz tales on my dirty work Mac surrounded with such "delights" as celery, carrots, strawberries, green tea and a heroic vat of home-made soup.
Gone are boisterous wine-guzzling lunches a'la December.
And it's safe to say there'll be a severe lack of juvenile laughter heard bellowing from my desk this January.
But at least my screen will no longer be a confusing, fuzzy pre-Christmas blur (although I quite like that moment when your drunken eyes start to focus wholly on the white trails between the words and everything else becomes a insignificant blur).
I'll definitely miss the sniggering and intoxicated hysterics... but I'll have diminishing bingo-wings and will, hopefully, stop ruining other people's perfectly nice photos.
Who knows, I might even join the company gym, after all, it's only a fiver...
Who needs boozy business lunches, I've got Nettle tea.
Sob. Pass me the gun. Quick.
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