Showbiz news round up

It's been a busy day for celebsville.

Frank Lampard asked his girlfriend Christine Bleakley to married him last night, while the pair were on their jollies in LA.

Christine's a top girl, so really chuffed for her.

Nothing quite like bagging a footballer, hey?

Despite being engaged once before (to Elen Rivas, the mother of his two children) Frank obviously thought only dating Christine for a year was long enough to seal the deal.

They're a great couple and both seem to have a lot of fun.

To celebrate I'm re-posting my snaps of me with them.

No reason, just cos.

Breaking news today was that two men were planning to murder Joss Stone.

Seriously, why? She's the nicest hippy\ stoner\ songwriter\ earth-child on the celeb scene. The two mentalist men were arrested with swords, rope, a body bag and detailed maps of Joss's home. A lush farmhouse in Devon, in case you care.

Er, Essex playboy Mark Wright made the column today after making his fiancee Lauren Goodger cry. Again.

Following pics of him naked on a balcony with his ex Lucy in Marbella...Marks now trying to bat away rumours they shagged.

Everyone knows you did Mark. I mean EVERYONE. Just put your hands up and deal with the punishment.

We all know Lauren won't dump him, but it'll cost a diamond necklace or two to wriggle out of that one.

In other news Nicole Scherzinger totally took the micky by wearing this outfit at the US X Factor auditions.

Surely it can't be a co-incidence?

Really? Are we suppose to believe that?

I think it's pretty pathetic what people do, or are told to do by their 'people' for publicity.

In other news I miss Russell Brand. His erotic, randy bed-hair and skinny jeans use to excite me at events.

We're not pals or anything. Not even acquaintances. But I used to enjoy going to showbiz parties thinking there was a possibility he'd swagger up in his pixie boots up and gothic-esque getup.

Who's fun on the showbiz scene these days? Seriously, who?

Can't think of anyone.

Wino's all spaced out, Harding's getting married and chilling out.

Even Kate Moss has had enough.

We need some new rock n rollers, who aren't 12.

Seriously fuck off Justin Beiber and The Wanted.