The LAFTA awards

It's not often you get a slap on the back for being comical.
However, the showbiz column I edit was nominated for a LAFTA awards in the Funniest Column category.
Me and my wingman Sonja went along to the lunch soiree today to watch a host of comedians and wannabe funny people size up each other balls while enjoying a fine afternoon of champagne (magnums everywhere) and posh fish grub (oysters and monkfish).
The likes of Alan Carr, Jimmy Carr and Leigh Francis all won awards... and the butt of their jokes were aimed at the unheard of glamour girl who was handing out the gongs. Poor sod. Although it's probable that she loved the attention.
I've never seen her before but within 15 seconds Jimmy Carr told the audience: "I have no idea who she is, but I can see her boobs and I want to honk honk on them."
Richard Keys and Andy Gray would've been so proud.
Leigh Francis took over the mic and told the unsuspecting glamour girl: "You look just like how I imagine my girlfriend looks when I'm smashing her back doors in. Except she's fatter than you and has far more split ends."
Richard Keys and Andy Gray would've been so proud.
And Alan Carr couldn't resist a sexist gag too... saying he hoped to be "hanging out the back of Kelly Brook one day soon".
Richard Keys and Andy Gray would've been so proud.

The awards ceremony was definitely missing some partying totty... where's Sarah Harding when you need her?