Winter Wonderland

It is officially acceptable to be excited about Christmas when Winter Wonderland opens in Hyde Park. Yeah, it's not even December yet, but those are the rules.
Bavarian beers houses, bratwurst sausages, mulled wine and ice skating.
I always revert back to being a kid.
Remember those times when your only purpose in life was to have fun. And your only aim was to play outside with your friends. The ultimate days.

So me and my good pals Sam, Nikki and Ellie met up with Sonja and her friend Steph and had a right good pre- Christmas ding dong. Happy days. Mulled wine and hot cider galore.
We were all actually quite good at ice skating, despite not doing it for about 10 years and the DJ pumping out The Wombles new song.
Is that really going to be Christmas No 1? What a two finger salute to the X Factor.

You can't beat a big sausage from the German market stalls. Yeah man.

Twilight fever hits London... and me.

Ooh hello hangover.
It's been a while since I've had one as miserable as you.
You know you're in trouble when an Alka Seltza does jack all. Literally nothing.
Anyway, I couldn't think of anything more perfect than going to see a film at the cinema on a horrific hangover.
Not just any film, I may add.
The new Twilight film Breaking Dawn Part 1 at the huge London premiere.

Twilight premiere ticket

Despite not being a teenager, and not having a delusional fantasy that there are perfect men on planet earth, I still absolutely love Twilight.
I love every god damn minute, of every film.
I've read all the books, seen all the previous films a few times over and I am 100% Team Edward.
I know, I know. I'm even slightly embarrassed as I write this.
But for some reason, unbeknown to me, I buy into the Twilight obsession wholeheartedly and with passion.
I am completely absorbed with Robert Pattinson's character Edward Cullen.
I love what he stands for, his out-of-control gentlemanly ways and deep-routed belief in soul mates.
I am not fickle like my mates who flick between Team Edward and Team Jacob (his werewolf love rival) depending on how long Jacob keeps his top off and flexes his outrageously, impressive pecks.
Anyway, all that side, the premiere was amazing. A perfect snowy, winter wonderland.
The red carpet was changed to white carpet, covered with snow and mistletoe.
It was freezing.

Robert, Kristen and Taylor

The main stars Robert Patttinson, Kirsten Stewart and Taylor Lautner were all there.
Kristen looked amazing in a gothic long, black dress.
And R Patz really does look like Edward in the flesh. Brooding and moody. With his poignant stare and strong, angular face.
I'm not going to give too much away for anyone who hasn't seen the film yet, but the birth scenes are incredible.
The CGI during the pregnancy is disturbing and the wedding\ honeymoon scenes are enough to make any girl want to get married. Immediately, if not sooner.
Already, I can't wait for the final film.
It will be the end of my love affair with Edward Cullen, who unfairly gives women false hopes that one day they'll find their very own Edward.
Ladies, a man this sensitive, chivalrous and full of emotion does not exist.
I feel sorry for the young teenager girls watching who honestly think men like this are available. They're not.
And I feel sorry for men who get a bad rap now because they're emotional void and a million miles away from Edward's perfectness. Sigh.
Anyway, here's some pics from the premiere. One of my favourite nights in 2011.

Sonja and me getting excited before the show

Here's the story we wrote in the Daily Star the following day about R Patz.
He says he has to live like James Bond in true 007 spy style.
http://www.dailystar.co.uk/goss/view/221913/Twilight-fame-forces-star-to-live-like-oo7/



The white carpet and Christmas lights at Westfield in Stratford

Three parties, one night, one city.

Getting my nails done in the pop up salon

So last night was a bit of a crazy one work wise.

I had to squeeze in three parties, that were in opposite parts of town, all before 8pm.

First up Myleene Klass's pop up nail bar in Soho, straight from work at 6pm.

Myleene's the latest celeb to turn her name and hand to beauty.

Everyone does it these days, if you haven't launched a makeup range, a nail varnish or clothing line it seems you're no one in 2011.

First it was just models and fashion celebs now it's every Tom, Dick and Harry. From Fearne Cotton to some random TOWIE bird.
Anyway Myleene has launched a collection of wrap on nails. Basically patterned stickers that wrap around your nail and file off.
They're good fun, although possibly a little bit tacky. Sorry.
Anyway fair play to Myleene she wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty and got to work sticking them on everyone.
And she had a sexy looking array of champagne and cupcakes.

One of the many handsome looking cake stands

Myleene getting busy with our manicures.

    

I then jumped into a cab and headed over to Altitude 360 at the top of the Millbank Tower ( floor level 28) for a Marilyn Monroe book exhibition.

The views across London and down The Thames were amazing. Especially all lit up under the stairs and in the moonlight.
London really is a beautiful city.
With a glass of wine in hand, I took a moment to stare out across the landscape and think about how lucky I felt to live in London and do a job I really enjoy.




I finished the night at The Spectacle Wearer Of The Year awards at Battersea Power Station.

After a few interviews on the red carpet (or in this case the green carpet) with Max from The Wanted (who won Spectacle Wearer Of The Year, yep, I never knew he wore glasses either) and The Only Way Is Essex girls Lauren Pope and Lauren Goodger, we sat down to have dinner and enjoy ourselves

Me, Max and Sonja

Gok Wan and Kara Tointon were hosting the awards.
The whole night got a bit messy. This happens every now and then at events when all our showbiz journo buddies are out.
Anyway to cut a long, and potentially career damaging, story short we got seriously re-hydrated on free wine.
There are rumours we may have commandeered the catwalk at one point, downed wine straight from the bottle, start a flower fight with the floral centre pieces and thrown some sexually inappropriate moves, not just on the dance floor.
However, rumours are over rated so lets just leave it there.

Sam, George, Sonja, Me and James

Russell Brand's dad thinks he's the new Jesus, no joke.

I've heard it all now.

I know most parents like to talk up their kids, each thinking their son or daughter is extra special.
Everyone has a busy-body, Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet) type, who lives down the road.
You know, the type who blabs on: "My son's a doctor, don't you know. He got a 1st in his Masters and now saves the world, single handedly. I'm so proud, I could cry."

However Russell Brand's dad could win an award for child trumpet-blowing.

Russell's dad Ron Brand thinks his superstar son is the new Jesus. I kid you not.

He reckons his son and Jesus are “both true individuals, misunderstood by the world”.

how Ron sees his son Russell

Talking about his epiphany Ron said: “Russell is truly individual. He does not comply to rules of society. I am proud of him.

“Kids have always had to comply. There are few that can sustain it and say: ‘No. I am going to be who I am.’

“It’s difficult to be different and it goes back 2,000 years. It goes back to the times of Jesus, he was an individual. It takes immense strength to be able to sustain your belief.  I never ask Russell to build a safety net. You have one life. I always tell him to go for it. I tell him: ‘You either go to the top of the mountain or you die at the side.’"

Good point Ron.

Anyway, must pop off I'm having dinner with my parents, Mother Teresa and Gandhi.

Alan Carr loves bird watching....the geeky binocular kind

Every now and then we ask a celebrity to come into the Daily Star office to guest edit the GOSS column.
We sit back, hand the column over to them and let them chat about their lives and other celebrity stories of the day.
We did exactly this with Alan Carr. Who is one of the naturally funniest people I have ever met.
He had me and my Goss sidekick Sonja crying with laughter.
The hour we spent with him was an endless stream of banter, sarcastic remarks and filthy/ comedy stories. This man really has no boundaries.
And though he was slagging off other celebrities all over the shop, he really doesn't have a nasty bone in his body. It's all just part of the act.

me, Alan and Sonja writing the column

The last time I came away from an interview in pain, because I'd laughed so much my cheeks/ stomach muscles were sore, was about five years ago when I interviewed The Bear from Bo Selecta.
Still makes me laugh thinking about how ridiculous that moment of my career was.

Anyway, during our Goss edit we found out Alan Carr loves bird watching.
He explained: “I really like bird watching. I haven’t done it for ages, but I love it. I love the quietness of it.
"For my 16th birthday I got a pair of binoculars. It’s a bit creepy but I loved them.
“The thing is though – all the nature reserves in Northampton where I’m from, they’re all dogging sites so I can’t go down there with my binoculars any more. "



Alan also told us he'd love to star on Celebrity Come Dine With Me but thinks the guests are naff.
He said they'd have to up the ante and get some A listers on before he'd even consider it.
He revealed: “I would love to do Celebrity Come Dine With me, but the celebs would seriously have to go up a notch.
“I love the idea but I’m not being funny, I don’t want to do it with Howard from the Halifax and Fatima Whitbread.
“If it was Mariah Carey and Lady GaGa and we were all going round each other’s houses I would be in. But I’m not doing it with MC Hammer and Alison Hammond.
I can’t cook. But you don’t go for the cooking, you go to snoop around the house don’t you and get really drunk?”

Ahh poor old MC H and Alison.

Alan puts his feet up after all his hard work

An' all that jazz

I finally got around to seeing Chicago The Musical.
I've wanted to go and check it out for ages, but my fella wouldn't come with me and most of my girl mates have seen it at least twice.
However, my friend Sam hadn't, so we had a girlie night out at the theatre. We got really drunk until the wee hours at the after party.
It would've been rude not too, I had the next day off work. Result.

The lead Roxy Hart was played by Ugly Betty. I didn't know this until I arrived, probably should've done my research first. So yeah, America Ferrera, which was a surprise.
She definitely brought a comedy touch to the show, she's a great actress.
And although she's not as sleek and skinny as all her fish-net clad, naked co-stars she still looked glam and striking in her skimpy, lace outfits and killer red lipstick.
Go Ugly Betty!!
America starred opposite Darius Danesh. I really couldn't get my head around that. Darius. Darius Danesh.
You know, that slimy mug from Pop Idol. The one who did the unforgettable, hideous audition singing Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time". Ugggh, it makes me cringe just thinking about it.

To remember the horror check this out....
Darius being a Britney Spears shaped cheese ball

So yeah, that's all I'm going to say about Darius. I really couldn't take him seriously.

I loved the show and have been singing all the songs, sporadically, ever since. "And all that jazz..."

America and moi

After the show we  headed off to the after party, I had a quick chat with America.
She said she loves living in London but is finding Chicago tough. She told me: "It's a hard slog, but really good fun. I wanted to bring some comedy elements into the show. It's so sexy, all the girls are gorgeous. Everyone still thinks of me as Ugly Betty, but that's OK. I have a huge place in my heart for Betty, she's one of a kind."
Her clothes definitely were.

The highlight of the after party was Dorian from Birds Of A Feather (Lesley Joseph) making an almighty tit of herself.
She walked straight into a huge, fancy silver tray of wine glasses and smashed the entire thing on the floor. There was glass and red wine everywhere. People were trying desperately to not laugh as Dorian almost fell ass over tit with it.
Sorry, that's probably not very nice, but it was a hilarious sight to behold.

Dorian obviously found it quite funny as well.

Royally sucked in by Ashley Cole

I can't believe it.

I feel disappointment with myself for even admitting this... but... Ashley Cole isn't as much of a nob as every girl thinks.

I know, I can't believe I've said it either. And yep, I do feel slack on poor, old Chezza. Sisterhood and all that jazz.

I've always waved the 'Cheryl Cole is amazing' flag and I do think Ashley is a twat for cheating on her, repetitively.

However, after meeting him for the first time. I feel a bit different. I can't lie.

My affections for him are wavering from hatred to, dare I say it, sympathy.

When I bumped into him at a London party he was really sweet, genuinely quite funny and very polite.

I asked for a photo, he knew I was a journalist, but happily obliged.

And when his dumb ass PA cut both of our heads off he happily posed for another. And laughed at her incompetence.

He was also a lot, I mean dramatically, smaller than I imagined. So skinny and frail.

And this alone made me feel a bit sorry for him.

After all, who wants to be the nation's most hated person.

Especially when your ex wife is hailed 'the nation's sweetheart'.

So there, I've admitted it.... I feel sorry for Ashley 'I can't keep it in my pants' Cole.


The incriminating picture of moi and Mr C



He's always made out to be this killer love-rat. 

But in reality he's just a skinny runt who likes football and doesn't have a nice girl at home as he stupidly screwed it up. 

Time and time again.

He didn't look like a big time player.
I can't imagine him man-handling women, knocking their back doors in etc etc.

He looked like a bit of a wuzz.
The type of guy who embarrassingly covers himself up as he shuffles to the toilet after sex, or drops the dreaded question "How was that for you?" Urgh.

He was no bruiser like Rooney, smooth talker like Giggs or horny stallion like Crouch.

If anything he looked like their skinny, placid, camp brother.

So, if Ashley Cole is a devious, self-obsessed ladies man, then I am totally sucked in.

And therefore nearly as bad as those tarts who are infatuated with doing kiss and tells on him.

Amen sister.

Cosmopolitan Ultimate Woman Of The Year Awards

Firstly, I really, really, really should've had a word with myself when I thought, "I love the English rose look, tonight I'm going to sack off getting a spray tan."
I am actually as white, if not whiter than Irish lovely and X Factor ghost Janet Devlin. Yep, there's photo evidence to prove it.
I'm blaming The Only Way Is Essex.
The first series wasn't so offensive but this series the girls are wearing far too much slap/ fake tan/ false eyelashes.... they actually look like a bunch of trannies on their way to a holiday camp.
My boyfriend commented: "Girls who wear that much make-up definitely have something to hide."
So, with that in statement in mind, I went aux natural to the Cosmo awards and scared most of the guests with my ghost-like legs. I apologise in advance.

X Factor girls Janet Devlin, a very white me
and Misha B

Right first things first....
Kelly Rowland and Tulisa completely ignored each other at the awards bash.

I arrived late, very late, as did both Kelly and Tulisa..
I had to get a tube, not sure what their excuses were.

Anyway, as we all rushed in rudely late together I witnessed, with my very own eyes, their cut-the-atmosphere-with-a-knife awkward “hello” moment.

They refused to have photos together, despite standing 1/2 a foot apart.
Which was really uncomfortable, seeing as they both happily posed for individual photos with me.
We quickly all got rushed into the dinning room, late, where they both went out of their way to ignore each other all night.

What would S-Cowell say?




Tulisa and me


Meanwhile on the subject of X Factor silliness last week's stand in judge Alexandra Burke.com told me she wasn’t given the choice.com about standing in as a judge.com. Her management made her.com.
She revealed: “They called me two hours before rehearsals and I was on the way to the dentist. I didn’t have much choice. My management didn’t ask, but told me. I’d do it again and join full-time if asked. Simon picked me."
Great.com

The awards bash was a right laugh. Kylie Minogue turned up, with an awesome new brunette barnet, and handed out an award to Debbie Harry. That was a definite high-light.
As was the infamous goodie bag. Best one I've had all year.
It was so heavy, I could barely carry it up the hill home.
No, that's not an exageration. Seriously, I had marks on my arm from the bag's rope handles.
Stuffed with all my favourite beauty products from Elemis, Benefit, Guinot and perfume, books, makeup etc...
Well chuffed.

Kelly Rowland interview

me and Kelly Rowland

KELLY Rowland might not like all of us British girls. Yep, Tulisa, I'm talking about you.
But she can’t get enough of our men.
Her hit list of wannabe shags is more impressive than the gravity surrounding Jordan's tits.

Kelly, who won Ultimate TV Personality at the Cosmo's bash, would love to rip the pants off co-judge Gary Barlow.

She told me: “I fancy Gary. If he wasn’t married I’d be in there abso-frickin-lutely.

“You fall in love with him as a human being. He has so much to give to the world in music and love.

“It’s hard to pick one British guy, I’m loving them all. Olly Murs has cutest butt I’ve ever seen.

"It distracts me so much. But he needs to loosen up his trousers and let his boys breathe!

"Me and Dermot go clubbing. We got back in the wee hours of the morning last time. I won’t tell you what dance we were ­doing.

“I also fancy Marcus Collins, and ­Simon Cowell is obviously very handsome – but we’d bicker if we were on the same panel though.”

So Gary Barlow, Olly Murs, Dermot O'Leary, Marcus Collins, Simon Cowell.

That's a sturdy gang bang right there. Go randy Rowland.

Aside from the men she wants to do the horizontal tango with Kelly also revealed Beyonce would love to reform Destiny's Child so they could sing on this year’s X Factor final.

Kelly said: “My sister Beyoncé would love to, but she’s pregnant so I wouldn’t let her.
“I’m in no way broody.

“Five of my friends are pregnant, so I’m going to just be happy taking their babies and giving them back."

Amanda Holden - the nicest woman in showbiz

Me and a very pregnant and gorgeous Amanda
clutching her award for Ultimate Theatre star

Amanda Holden really is one of the nicest people in showbiz.

I have no idea how this is possible seeing as she's spent the last two years having to work with the likes Piers Morgan (he makes my skin crawl), David Hasslehoff (crazier than a box of frogs on glue) and Simon Cowell (the man who must've trained Mark Wright in the art of being an arrogant cock).

However, our Mandy, sorry I have never called her that, is genuinely lovely. She spent over an hour chatting to all us press vultures... and surprisingly, she seemed to really enjoying having a good old chin wag.

Amanda revealed she wants Cheryl Cole to join her on the Britain’s Got Talent judging panel next year.

Oooh, we'd all love that.

She said: “I’d definitely like Cheryl on, I’ve always been a fan of hers. But I admit I like being the only girl, so I can always win the style wars!”

Since Michael McIntyre quit and David Hasselhoff got booted off for being mental, Amanda reckons Jonathan Ross could also join her – even though they publicly fell out a few years ago.

She said: “Simon Cowell likes it when judges don’t get on, so we should have Jonathan Ross, as I’d row with him loads. If I told Simon I hated someone and couldn’t work with them he’d say: ‘Fab, we’ll keep them then’.”

She might not of won award on the night but best dress has to go to Amelle from The Sugababes.

Truly amazing, she couldn't sit down in it because of all the netting.

She also told me never, ever, will anyone catch her on a reality TV show like BB, Strictly or I'm A Celeb.

Hmmm... if I was a betting woman.

Amelle in her amazing Black Swan style dress

Cheryl really is a good'un, isn't she?

Cheryl Cole has been to visit her troubled Girls Aloud bandmate Sarah Harding in rehab.
Sadly Sarah checked into a treatment centre three weeks ago for depression and alcohol addiction after her split from fiance Tom Crane.
She's now holed up in a rehab clinic in Arizona, 500 miles from Cheryl’s Los Angeles base.

To prove how serious she is to help her, our Chezza has offered to lend Sarah her swanky LA pad as a retreat.

A Hollywood source told me: “Cheryl is really concerned for Sarah. She made time in her busy schedule to travel over to Arizona and visit her in the rehab centre.

"Cheryl feels really passionate about alcohol and drug abuse after all she's spent years of worrying about her drug addict brother Andrew.

“Cheryl is now pulling out all the stops to help Sarah.

“She has told Sarah that she is more than welcome to use her LA home as an escape pad when she finally comes out of rehab.

“A bolt-hole where Sarah can chill out and escape the London limelight and maybe try to save her relationship with Tom.”

Unfortunately today it's been reported that Sarah has to extend her stay in rehab and will probably not be out before Christmas.

Halloween party time.

I managed to completely forget about my cold for one night to host a Halloween/ post-birthday bash.
Any excuse to dress up and decorate my flat.

Me and Jimmy got very excited about our pumpkin carving.
I can't take any glory for Jim's haunted tree... which took centre place on our fireplace.
We did three each. I can however, take credit for No 1, 2 and 5 (left to right).

We invited a stack of our mates around for a home-cooked Chilli, ghoulish cakes and hours of boozing and singing.
We ended up moshing around the kitchen to scary Halloween songs (like the Monster Mash) and smashing glasses repetitively with our over enthusiastic, drunken dancing.

I decided to get dressed up as Wednesday Adams from The Adams Family. But as a living dead version with blood trickling out my eyes, nose and mouth. And one zombiefied white eye.
I did plan to wear two white eyes but they were so freaking uncomfortable and I couldn't really see jack all.
My boyfriend Jimmy came as The Voodoo Man, who has a white face mask, black long hair and a top hat. Although he decided to take off his head gear for the below photo.
He managed to wear both of his red-out eyes, he's more hardcore than me. Obviously.

Wednesday Adams and Voodoo Man

  

I got VERY excited about this life-like evil, black witches cat
 with red eyes and a proper steam bubbling cauldron.



Jimmy as Voodoo Man

  

me and my friend Tammy drunk and disorderly

Me and my mate Alexandra hugging a ghoul which me and
Jim had sneakily positioned in the garden.

Did The Hoff give me a cold?

It's been a funny old week.
I took an entire week off work. I wasn't flying off anywhere exotic or hot, just had high hopes of gallivanting around London checking out various tourist hot spots and the like.
It was my birthday as well last week. So I was hoping to go for high-tea at The Ritz on my bday afternoon and then out for dinner with my brother the following night.
I also arranged to go for a pampering session with the girls at a salon on Thursday, which would've including drinking champagne and no doubt chatting animatedly about boys.
However, my hopes were ambushed by a kick ass cold/ flu virus. Gutted.
So to cut a long and very boring story short, I spent the whole week, including my birthday, under a duvet sniffling on the sofa.
I didn't get out of my PJs for days and generally just shuffled around the flat feeling sorry for myself.

However before this moment of self deprivation and hermiting I interviewed The Hoff. David Hasslehoff, Knight Rider, The owner of Kitt, Mitch Buchannon of Baywatch fame.
I've interviewed Mr Hoff a few times before and each time he's got progressively more bonkers.
This time I  think it's safe to say he is officially madder than a box of glue-sniffing frogs.
Me and fellow Goss girl Sonja met The Hoff at the Charlotte Street hotel in Soho.
We walked into the library and came face-to-face with a more animated David than we'd even imagine in our freakiest dreams.
He spoke at us, literally AT us, for ten minute, waffling, frantically at 100 mph.

We have no idea what he was going on about. We tried to reign him in and ask a sensible, newsworthy question but he over looked our concerned glances and carrying off chatting inanely about, seriously, only God knows what.

Me and Sonja came out the interview, feeling drained and instantly knowing we had nothing to use in the paper the following day. What a waste of time for everyone involved.

However, we got this corker of a photo. And a hilarious ten minutes of audio we can listen back to on our dictaphones if we're ever feeling bored or in need of entertaining in the office.

Me, Hoff and Sonja

The last time I met The Hoff wasn't much better.
He was giving his bodyguards a run for their money at a party.
They were employed mainly to stop him going anywhere near the champagne and wine trays.
Say no more.

I forgot to say the list of 'Not Allowed To Mention Topics' for our Hoff interview was hilarious.
Including....
Being sacked from Britain's Got Talent
Anything to do with alcohol or binge drinking
Getting divorced
The custody battle
That 'burger video' that circulated a while back
Simon Cowell

The first time I met The Hoff

Forget wife swap....anyone fancying house training my fella????

If there was an award for the world's messiest boyfriend, mine would win, hands down. I'd bet my mortgage on it.
He should be in the Guinness Book Of World Records for his dedication for fucking up my house.
He could win medals, travel the world winning competitions, tournaments even.
If you think your boyfriend is messy... you need to spend a week with mine.

Jimmy, my fella of two years, has a wonderful ability to cover my cream bedroom wall with feet marks, not hand prints, feet prints... time and time again.
I'm not even going to mention the black hand prints all over my white bathroom walls.
Do other men insist on propping themselves up against the wall, with both hands, while taking a piss? WHY?

No matter how often I clean our lounge door, which so happens to be made of glass, it's always covered with finger prints... always.
I might as well just remove the handle. Seriously. Jim never uses it.
Why would he when he can push it open using the glass window with his greasy, KFC chicken ridden, fingers.
Obviously pushing the door open that way makes so much more sense?

Also I really should have clocked on by now about the cooking mess.
When he offers to cook dinner, I should politely decline saying, "I'll do it tonight darling". No drama.
If Jim cooks anything, it's guaranteed to be all over the walls, the utensil holder, the cook books, the kitchen ornaments, you name it. Not forgetting of course, ALL over the floor.
When he's cooked himself a simple Spag Bol, it looks like he's cooked Christmas dinner, for 10, blindfolded.
Even just making a cup of tea is a palaver.
There's tea slopped all over the bin lid, dripping down the kitchen cupboard and a trail across the floor from where the tea bags been slopped onto a spoon out of the cup en route to bin.
Moments later I shout 'bluuuurgh" as he's accidentally put two sugars in instead of none.
Hence the whole tea bag dripping, slopping, floor-splashing scenario starts again for tea making mark two, hopefully this time with no sugar.
He's been known to finish cup two by accidentally adding another sugar. No joke. Are men really this dense?

Another thing which you could look forward to if you lived with my boyfriend was his indescribable boy's logic.
The other day Jim was making sausage and mash... great, one of my favourite dinners.
I couldn't look as he turned our kitchen into a squat.
About 15 minutes later he declared, "the potatoes done, shall I put butter in them or just milk?"
I walked into the kitchen and saw the raw sausages still sitting on the side.
He hadn't even put the sausages under the grill.
I looked at him, frustrated asking "Why didn't you cook the sausages at the same time as the mash? The potato will be stone cold my the time the sausages are ready. How are you going to keep them warm?"
He replied, totally blasé, "I'm just gonna leave the mash on the side while I cook the sausages."
Why! Why!! Only a man could possibly think like this.

Seriously I have asked, in fact pleaded, with Jimmy at least 100 times, that is not an exaggeration, I wish for the sake of my own sanity it was, to open the shower curtain after having a shower.
We've had to throw away more shower curtains in the last two years than I can remember as they're covered in mould.
All he needs to do is leave the shower curtain open to air after having a shower. Simple?
Jim's response: "Babe, I just don't think, I physically can't remember to do it."

Maybe I should stick his Xbox in the bathroom and let that get covered in damp gunk? Bet he'd remember to move that.

Jim's amazing and constantly makes me laugh, but I'm in desperate need of Super Nanny to come and house train him.
Any one up for the challenge?

Sarah Harding in Rehab. Sad times

Sarah and me in Cannes for the
annual film festival

I love Sarah Harding. We've always supported her in our showbiz column, even back in the day, years ago when I had only just started at the Daily Star.
Hardcore Harding, as we nick-named her, always put us to shame with her canning ability often calling it a night hours past sunrise.
I've spent many a boozy night with Sarah in London, at Alton Towers, in Cannes and she could seriously drink most men under the table.
However, there's obviously a fine line between swigging out of a bottle of Jack Daniels while flicking the paparrazi your middle finger, to not realising your life's spiralling out of control.
So it was a sad day when we got the call to say she'd checked into an American rehab centre for alcohol addiction and depression.
Get well soon fellow party pal.
 

Sarah and me at the BAFTA awards earlier this year



Without poking my nose in too much, I'm really glad she's sorting everything out.
I was worried she was heading for a Lindsay Lohan/ Britney Spears style meltdown.
There's been a lot of gossip/ whispers about Sarah on the showbiz scene for months.
Ever since she seemed totally out of in at the BAFTA awards back in Feb.

Then she split up with her fiance Tom Crane amid speculation of someone being unfaithful. I won't say who.
A lot of people have been worrying about her, and not just her friends and family.

Good luck Harding, I hope to see you with a smile on your pretty mug again soon.



Fellow Goss girl Sonja, Sarah and me at V Festival in Essex

Thorpe Park after dark = HORROR.

I'm going to be 100% honest, whenever anyone talked about Thorpe Park in the past, I kinda zoned out.
In my mind it's always been a poor man's Alton Towers.
I have no idea where this pre-conceived idea came from, as I've even never been.
But, I just assumed Thorpe Park was a cheap, naff version of Drayton Manor (which to be fair is pretty lame) and most probably just for kids.

So when I got invited to the press night of the Halloween VIP Fright Night - which, in a nutshell, includes drinking a stack of free booze/ eating plates of free food before going on all the rides in the dark. I thought 'Yeah that sounds fun'.
However, what I didn't realise, was that we would be testing out Live Halloween Horror Mazes.

One of the lovely PR's, Lauren Libin from House PR, came over and said: "There's no need to be worried, it's just a mental asylum with a horror film twist. You'll be in a maze, which has live actors inside who will run around, screaming at you and trying to touch you."

Ok, nothing to worry about then?! By this time we were all a little drunk and therefore over analysing everything.
To make it worse there was an ambulance outside one of the mazes with a full ambulance crew. We asked why they were there.
One of the park staff replied: "It's a really scary ride, and very claustrophobic, people often faint."
Great.

The fact it was 9pm at night and the whole park was pitch black made it worse. And as it was a Halloween themed night there were staff everywhere, dressed in scary costumes.
Instead of the standard witches, ghouls, ghosts etc there were men in black cloaks wearing pig heads, girls dressed as demon scientists and generally characters you'd expect in a freak show. Random.

Anyway, to cut a long, scary story short two of the horror mazes were horrendous. I mean really horrendous. Those being Asylum and Experiment 10.
I closed by eyes, screamed, clinged on to my mates Sonja and Ellie for dear life and ran most of the way. At one point I was practically bear hugging This Morning presenter Matt Johnson as I was so petrified. He must have thought, 'who is this lunatic, squeezing my hand like a mentalist.."
To be fair though, even Matt said he'd "never" go in the mazes again.

Apart from those two hideous rides the rest were brilliant. Including a ten loop roller coster and SAW which was awesome.

I have since decided that Thorpe Park is in a league of it's own. Leaving the likes of Alton Towers and Drayton Mannor cowering in it's wake. Well played Thorpe Park, I honestly didn't think you had it in you.

After being hurled around on all the roller costers, there were no queues because the park was closed, so we crammed six into half an hour, we started to feel sick.
Nothing to with the multiple vodkas, honestly, ahem.

Anyway, me and Sonja couldn't face getting the coach back to London.,
So we somehow, no idea how we pulled this off, managed to blag a ride with two of the Thorpe Park staff.
If by any miracle they are reading this, thanks SO much for helping two, green faced, damsels in distress.
We hope you enjoyed the cupcakes (yep, we didn't offer them cash, just our goodie bags, which came with cake).

Ooh, I should probably mention that fame-seeking monster Jordan turned up to the bash.
Yep, we all let out a hard-to-disguise, disappointed sigh when she arrived, as she always manages to ruin proceedings.
However, she didn't throw her weight around, or annoy too many people as she was far too busy making a headline-grabbing statement.
She was showcasing her latest love victim Danny Cipriani. You know, the nice Rugby guy who was dating Kelly Brook.
God knows what he sees in Jordan, probably just after a good sh*g, But anyway, they were together and here's the full story, should you care. Also a picture of them both on the SAW ride.
 

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/posts/view/214477/Danny-Cipriani-is-Jordan-s-new-man

Oh, and we couldn't make this up if we tried, but glamour girl Imogen Thomas t(ex Big Brother star) thought she was dating Danny Cipriani. So quite rightly caused a stink about it on Twitter.
I can understand that reading you've been dumped in the paper is probably pretty shite.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/playlist/view/214702/Oh-Danny-boy

I just also want to say the goodie bags were pretty radical. They had glow in the dark condoms in them! Awesome.

Chatting on 1Xtra

I love doing radio stuff.
In days gone by I used to co-present the breakfast show on Galaxy FM in Birmingham (now Capital FM).
I spent five years of my life getting up at silly o' clock (5am) and chatting on t'wireless for hours each day.
Those were the best days of my life. Despite the sleep deprivation.

So when I get asked to go and radio stuff, I'm always really keen to get back in the headphones.
I often do Saturday Night Live on LBC with Richard Arnold and also chat showbiz stuff on TalkSPORT.

Gemma and me in the studio

Today I went into 1Xtra to speak on Gemma Cairney's show, chatting about showbiz shizzle.

We chatted about how flipping brilliant Rihanna is after she came to the UK this week.
She decided to sack off her posh driver, limo or chauffeur and get a tube around London. And for us Londoners we know how rank it is on the tube at the best of times, so Rihanna must have been feeling particularly brave.
Following her gig at the O2 she then went to McDonalds. What a girl!! Fair play, I love it when celebs, especially ridiculously famous ones, act totally normal.
 Can't ever see the likes of Mariah or J.Lo doing that.

We also talked about The X Factor and the big evil twist where each judge (Gary, Louis, Kelly and Tulisa) is being forced to boot out one of their final four acts in the first live show. Drama.

Rock Of Ages: The Musical

I love a good musical.
Nothing like sitting around eating maltezers and ice-cream with a glass of wine as C -list celebrities prance around on a stage in front of you singing and dancing.
My fella doesn't really get why girls love the theatre so much, but I'm partial to getting tipsy with my mates dancing around in my chair.
A couple of months ago I went to see Ghost and despite thinking it was going to be a God awful pile of cheese rind, it was brilliant.
Also recently enjoyed Wicked, Flash Dance, Priscilla Queen of the Desert and very surprisingly Legally Blonde.

I didn't have high hopes for Rock Of Ages, I'm not into White Snake or other heavy rock bands, loved Metallica as an rebellious teen but that's where it ends.
I remember being 14 and dancing around on my mate's kitchen table, drunk out of my face on White Lightening, in stripy tights, para boots and an army coat moshing to Enter Sandman. Ahh the memories, I loved that album.

I'm not a big fan of Shayne Ward, the X Factor contestant from a few years ago. In fact did he win? I can't remember.
I've just googled, he did win. Shit, wonder what happened there then? Anyways, he's in the show as well as Justin Lee Colins.
You know the guy with the naff hair who was never as funny or likeable as Alan Carr.
You know, the guy who got caught fondling some random girl in the NOTW behind his wives back at a pub in Bristol.
Got it? Good.
Anyway. The show is good. Half of it is set in a strip club in LA, so it's full of semi naked girls waving their bits about and rock-star wannabe men trying to get their rocks off.
So all in all it's a bit of harmless sexual fun.
Also lots of power ballads Bon Jovi stylee and some laugh out loud moments.
Defo worth a visit if you have a spare £50 lying around.

We definitely enjoyed the after party... as you do.

me and my mate Sam unleashing our inner rock geeks

VW Camper van - best week ever.

Throughout my misguided youth there were a few things I dreamt of achieving in life:

1.) Buying a 70s VW campervan.
2. Finding and falling in love with a man who had cool hair (curly) and a fit beard.

3.) Owning a dog.

4.) Learning to surf.

(Oh, and moving to California to live by the sea. I’ve given up on that dream. I’ve travelled the West coast from San Francisco to San Diego and I’m happy with that).

So...

I’ve found a man with curly hair and a sexy beard. 

I’ve owned a golden cocker spaniel called Gwyneth.

I’ve had a few attempts surfing and albeit it not for long, I can stand up.

Luckily through my job at the Daily Star as showbiz editor, I can now tick off my biggest dream of living in a campervan – not just any, a 1972 VW.

It was literally a dream come true when I was offered the chance to do a travel feature driving around Devon in a V-Dub.

Me and my boyfriend Jimmy couldn’t believe our luck as we picked up our bright red camper called Ordell in Okehampton from O Connor’s Campers. (www.oconnorscampers.co.uk)

It looked perfect. Gleaming in the sunshine with shiny, chrome wheels, just waiting for us to jump aboard and start our adventure.

We were free from the London rat-race.

The only thing we needed to think about was where we wanted to hang out. And how long for.

 

Meeting Ordell for the first time

After picking up the van in Okehampton we decided to have an early morning horse ride across the moors, we were so close to Dartmoor - it seemed rude not too.

The moors were still covered with morning frost and dew, also an underlying air of eeriness.

As we cantered across the open land we were joined by a flock of swallows who flew alongside us.

They were beautiful and tame. As we went faster, they started to weave in and out our horses trying to keep up with us.

Apart from the swallows there was nothing to see for miles, just land and the occasional lone sheep.

Jimmy and Me riding across the moors

We then drove straight to Dartmoor to a campsite called St Leonard's Cove.

It was stunning, situated on a cliff at the top of a small cove, surrounded by panoramic views and turquoise sea.

We parked up Ordell, popped up the roof (our bedroom for the week), and lit our first camp fire.
Jimmy started making his camping speciality - prawn risotto.

We drank wine, smoked, played music and chatted animatedly about what we wanted to do in our amazing travelling companion.



Ordell on the first night - sleeping in the roof was really cosy and comfty

Chilling with our awning, fire pit and laterns on the first night

We decided to get up early and go cliff jumping.

It was a simple, we just popped the roof back down, chucked all our stuff inside and drove off down the country lanes to Torquay.

We cracked open a beer for the ride, ( can't lie we were a bit nervous).
Also we were on holiday time, which means it’s acceptable to drink beer whenever, even at 10am. Yes?

In our wetsuits just about to go cliff jumping

Coasteering and cliff jumping was amazing.

We scrambled across ragged cliffs and then threw ourselves off them. To be honest we were a bit cautious jumping off the first rocky ledge, but when a 10-year-old girl in our group nominated herself to go first we  realized we needed to man-up.

As the day progressed said girl, our ‘young inspiration’ didn’t do anymore jumps.

Can’t say I blame her.

We decided to get a taxi Dartmouth on the second evening. It was a cool, petite place.

Little bistros everywhere, pubs, wine bars, posh restaurants, everything you could possible want. We were surprised how much was going on in this sleepy coastal town.

We had dinner in RockFish, which essentially is a fish and chip/ seafood joint, with a twist.

The queue was flowing out the door, everyone wanted a reservation and as soon as we started eating it was obvious why.

Jimmy ate Oysters for the first time.

We ended up getting quite drunk in Dartmouth and dancing the night away in a wine bar as a man played a piano in the corner. Not what you'd expect from a camping holiday.

To hire a campervan from O'Connors Campers check out their webiste here or call 01937 659 599.

*our 4 berth 1972 campervan Ordell was given to us free of charge, in return for a travel feature in OK! Extra magazine.